Tag: munich

The Dumbest Thing in the World (Or, How to Become Homeless in 1 Easy Step!)

I think it’s locking yourself out of your house. Before living in Germany, that one never would have occurred to me. Because it sounds preposterous.

In the U.S., you have to manually lock your door from the outside when you leave your house (unless you live in small town Texas, where you don’t even do that). That means you don’t need to realize your keys are missing until you can’t start your car.

Doors in Germany are locked by default, and can’t be permanently unlocked. This demotes the humble doorknob to “thing you can use to pull a door open.” Job automation truly does hit close to home, these days.

To those of us used to those noblest of doorknobs who work doubles as locking mechanisms, this means we don’t realize we’re missing our keys until we’re homeless. I’ve been homeless three times since moving here.

The First Time

Melodrama aside, the first time occurred as Roxana and I moved into our apartment. We had just carried a load of things from our temporary place, and I was ready to start building some sweet Ikea furniture, cursing like a goddam sailor. Roxana wanted to make another trip to the temporary place, so off she went, leaving me to my LACK bookshelf and 5,000 pounds of cardboard.

I promptly set to prepping the cardboard for disposal. If there’s anything that makes me crazier than dirty dishes, it’s idle cardboard in the workplace. I bundled it, tucked it under my arm, and banished that useless evil to the garbage in the courtyard. Then, it hit me so suddenly I felt psychic.

Oh, dammit.

But no big deal, right? Roxana was just down the street. She’ll be back soon. She was back soon, but I sat on the stoop for 40 minutes that rainy day, jumping at every sound of footsteps along the sidewalk. Like a puppy whose family is on vacation.

The first time was kid’s stuff, I admit. 40 minutes is almost no time, but that didn’t stop my mind from wandering to places like “she’ll take a nap over there and it will be hours before I can get back in.” I didn’t have my phone, and neither did she, so that was a possibility. Anyway, the second and third times were meatier experiences.

The Second Time

This took place maybe a week after the first time. Maybe 4 days, so sue me.

We didn’t have any connection to the Internet, so I had been making daily trips to a nearby coffee shop to use theirs and spend a crapload of money on coffee. I can order the pants off a cup of coffee in German, now. Ich moechte bitte eine tasse kaffee. Kleine, und zum mitnehmen. I haven’t learned how to say “booyah” yet, however.

Anyway. This time, the “dammit’ hit me the second I closed the front door behind me. It’s 1pm, and Roxana won’t get home from work until 7pm, so that was one hell of a dammit. After I stopped hating myself, though, things weren’t bad. I was on my way to drink coffee and use the Internet, after all. And I always make sure I have a book and my iPod in a backpack when I leave the house (making it really stupid that I can’t say the same thing about my apartment key). So, if bored came to really bored, I would still have The Red Wedding and the sweet soothing arrangements of Christos Antoniou to occupy my thoughts.

Long story short, I read e-mails and the news at the coffee shop, and then got my Westeros on at Luitpold Park. No bigs.

The Third Time

This dammit led me to a small, albeit fruitless adventure around Munich about 5 days ago. That puts it about 2-3 weeks after the second time.

Remember my last post, when I said that my work to get my Student Application would begin “tomorrow?” What that meant was that I planned to apply for a health insurance policy. Documents in hand and book in back, I set out to stake my claim on a future in Germany. Boy, was I proud.

I was proud, that is, until the second my front door shut behind me. Dammit.

The time was 1pm, again (hey I just realized that that’s 13:00–that’s spooky, right?). Armed with only an account of Dorne’s vengeful spite and some minor errands, I had to make the best of 6-7 hours. Let’s get to those errands, huh?

For once in my life (and I would bet the life of the universe, as well), accomplishing something as mundane as taking out a health insurance policy required almost no time at all. I type that for you now without even a hint of exaggeration. It took me 5 minutes in that office to apply for a policy. Add the 15 minute walk/subway trip to Hauptbahnhof, and the whole thing drained 20 minutes.

The time was 1:20pm. Armed with only an account of some spoilers I can’t conscientiously put to text and maybe one more errand, I had to make the best of 5:40-6:40 hours.

“I’ve got it!” I enthusiastically proclaimed to myself. “I’ll sign up for more German classes! Get that out of the way!”

No luck. The language school was closed for the entire day, since the German weekend hasn’t been standardized, yet. About 20 minutes from Hauptbahnhof to Rosenheimerplatz was all it took. All of those mental exclamation points, wasted on a closed office.

The time was 1:40pm. To make the most of the rest of my day, I did what I think any warm-blooded Muenchner would do in my position on a sunny day like that one. I bought a beer and went to the Englischen Garten.

What the Last 30 Days is Like

You may already know that U.S. citizens (and those of some other countries) can live in Germany for 90 days without any type of visa before the country gives them a 3-month timeout (they make you leave the EU for 3 months). The last of my 90 days is July 4th, and I don’t want to sit in timeout, so June is really busy.

I’ve finished my first major task: deciding which visa I need. Mostly, I accomplished that with individual research. Funnily enough, asking people for advice about getting a visa is almost completely fruitless. Many people I’ve met are here for work, so all they know is that someone in a suit cut some red tape for them and now they’re living in Germany. Others had to endure really strict immigration processes that required them to have a visa before they even set foot in the country. And others just spread random second-hand fantasies and phantom tips.

“I know a guy…”

[He probably doesn’t know a guy]

“…who just told the government…”

[Sure. I’d love to meet Mr. Government if he’s ever available.]

“…that he’s a freelancer. So they just gave him something called a ‘Freelancer Visa,’ and now he can stay here!”

[They didn’t ‘just give him’ one. One of the bundle of requirements of a ‘Freelancer Visa’ is that you prove that you’ve been contracted for 3 projects at the time you apply for it.]

Many of the second-hand tips are like that one. They begin with “Have you heard of a [X] Visa?” Then, they make it sound like the German government is just giving them away to people with faces. Those tips are problems, because they can make you think that getting a visa is easy or worse, quick, and that you can wait a little while before you start applying for one.

So I’ve relied mostly on the Internet for my research. Forgetting about travelers’ blogs, because they really just offer more phantom tips, I set my sights on government resources. First, Google led me to the US Embassy’s residence permit tips. They give really general advice–gems like “yeah, you need a permit after 90 days,” and “go talk to the Germans if you really want to know the requirements for a visa.” Nice. Germany’s official resources aren’t any better. They offer super lists (read: comprehensive lists) which, if followed, could get anyone in the world into Germany. I know that some of those requirements don’t apply to me, so I had to keep looking. Finally, I found the best resource at the University of Munich’s website.

Anyway, the visa upon which I’ve decided is called a “Student Application Visa.” It gives me three extra months to apply to a university. Then, once I’m accepted, it becomes a normal student visa that allows me to live in Germany for the duration of my time with the school.

My plan to remain in Germany relies on my accomplishing three things in the next 20 or so days: obtain a student application visa, get into an LMU Master’s program, and book the next 6-8 months of German courses.

1. Obtain a Student Application Visa

I’ll be getting this one going tomorrow morning at 7am, across town, since “early morning” and “across town” are parts of a universal phenomenon that determines how we work with governments. Mostly, this is about filling out easy forms and showing my passport to people who glare at me. But, I just learned that I need German health insurance before I can get a visa, here. So far, getting insured sounds easy and cheap (EURO 50 per month is what I keep hearing). I’m wary, though, since that could just be a phantom tip.

2. Get Into an LMU Master’s Program

I’ve always known I would eventually go back for more education. Academia is just so tasty and theoretical that a second round needs to happen in the middle of my career to prevent mental atrophy. Now is a good time–I’m in another country, I don’t have to leave a job to make it happen, the local university is really good, and they offer a really interesting program–so I’m going for it.

Coming from the undergrad business world, I certainly considered the MBA. But, I mostly floated back and forth between “maybe” and “no,” never actually breaching the positive end of the argument. As I read and asked people about getting an MBA, I always encountered the same pros (not always all at once, but I never encountered other pros). They are 1) the letters “MBA” on your resume, 2) personal connections and 3) return on investment stemming from 1 and 2. While those three are no doubt useful benefits, they are not benefits I need from my education. Well, I admit that ROI is a factor I need to consider, but I think I have a pretty low threshold for “acceptable ROI,” and ROI is a weak factor for any program above that threshold.

As I researched the universities near and in Munich, I tossed around Economics and Psychology, believing they could make me a better marketer and, one day, an awesome marketing leader. At once, though, I noticed a strange-sounding Master’s program at the bottom of LMU’s English-taught programs list: Logic and the Philosophy of Science. I had to investigate; it sounded like a program  rooted in questioning the ability of science to deliver Truth. God, that’s tasty.

It turns out that’s, in large part, what it is. The program’s informative resources previewed its subject areas.

  1. Philosophical Logic
  2. General Philosophy of Science
  3. Philosophy of the Special Sciences: eg “Philosophy of the Social Sciences”
  4. Philosophy of Logic and Mathematics: What is the role of logic in thought and reasoning?
  5. Rational Choice and Formal Epistemology: eg Formal Rationality Concepts in Decision Theory and Social Choice Theory
  6. Analytic Philosophy: eg “Philosophy of Language” and “Philosophy of Probability”

GOD, that is tasty.

If I am accepted, I’ll use what I learn from the program to develop ideas and perspectives related to conducting market research, analyzing marketing data, employing appeals to marketing audiences and markets, and evaluating different marketing plans before launch, when there are more than one option.

In short, I’ll use the program to be a better specialist in the short term, and an awesome leader in the long term.

3. Book the Next 6-8 Months of German Courses

6 more months will get me through B2 level (I just finished A1, and the last possible level is C2). That’s where many tell me I should stop, since it’s where the practical German ends (for instance, future tense starts in C1, but nobody uses future tense, here). 8 months gets me through C1. That’s where I want to stop, since I want to be able to be clever. Even teachers say C2 isn’t worth it unless you’re a linguist, so I’ll trust them on that one.

I studied A1 at Tandem Munich. 1 unit (2 months) costs 1,090 Euros there. I will be studying A2 and probably all of the rest at the Muenchner Volkshochschule. One unit (2 months) costs 460 Euros. From what I can tell, the secret behind the price difference is that the German government subsidizes the VHS. It’s nice to know that life still involves some easy decisions.

Anyway, this is the easiest step. Every few weeks, I go to the VHS and enroll in a new German course (courses aren’t available much further than 2 months ahead of time). The challenge is dedicating myself to going to Rosenheimerplatz once a week to make sure the classes don’t fill up before I can enroll. It’s insane how quickly VHS classes reach capacity.

Well, that’s it.

Without spending much time on the sign off, I’ll just say that I hope all of this works out. Wish me luck.

TexMexpatriats: Scoring an Apartment in Munich #6

Ryan’s and Roxana’s Thursday

“Whatever you said on the phone last night worked, because Wolfgang wants us to meet us at the apartment today at 2pm!” exclaims Roxana over the phone.

“Great, mi amor! I’ll meet you there at 2!”

***

“There’s a small problem,” apologizes Wolfgang while he dismounts his bike. “Well, not a problem, really. Saskja isn’t at home, so I won’t be able to show you both the room, today.”

That’s kind of a problem. “Eh, that’s no big deal,” I reply.

“Yes, Ryan told me that this place is great, and I trust him,” laughs my adorable girlfriend. And then grinning at me, “Right?” Adorable.

Wolfgang politely chuckles. “Well, okay. I am very sorry that we will not be able to go in and see the place but, uh, there is not much I can do. Saskja was home from work yesterday to show applicants the apartment, and I’m not sure she can stay home a second day.” He shrugs and slants his eyes downward to emphasize that we had our chance, yesterday.

I get the point. “Yeah, of course. That’s understandable.”

“But I wanted to meet anyway,” continues Wolfgang, “so that I might get to know Roxana. I met you, yesterday, so we are good. I just have to make sure I can tell the owner that I know both of you when I make my final recommendation.”

That’s interesting. It sounds like he just said that he’s planning to recommend us.

“Oh, yeah?” I ask. “How does that part of the selection work?”

“Well, after I meet every applicant, I make a judgment about which ones would fit in well, here. You know–who will likely pay rent, whom the existing tenants might like, and things like that.” And then “I’ve been working with this building for a long time, so I have no problem identifying good residents.”

“Anyway, then I propose three applicants to the man who owns the building. I might emphasize one over the other two, but I leave it to him to make the final decision among those three. Then, of course, he meets the applicant he chooses when we sign the papers.”

Roxana’s wearing her biggest happy face. “Of course, no pressure there!” she jokes.

“Haha, yes. It’s a pretty formal process, but it’s also very smooth and easy. Nothing to worry about. If you meet the guy, it’s because you’ve already been awarded the place.”

He changes the subject. “So, um, I have a few questions for you, Roxana.”

Roxana: “Okay!”

“You work for,” checking his papers “Texas Instruments, is that right?”

“Yes, that’s right!”

“And when does your contract end?”

“It doesn’t. I’m on indefinite contract with TI.”

“Oh! That’s good. Stable jobs are always good things.”

“Yes, I can confirm that!”

“So I’ll just need the standard set of documents to review, whenever you can provide them.”

“Oh, I have them now!” Roxana is beaming.

“Oh! That’s great! Let me see…and this is your current salary?” he points at one of the documents.

“Yes, that is the current one.”

“Okay, and I see you also have your travel and residency documents in here. Good.”

“Yes, it’s all there!”

“Very good! Well, I feel good having met both of you. Now, I can go to the owner and make my recommendations. Do you have any questions for me?”

Both of us: “No, no questions!”

“Okay, you will hear from me tomorrow morning. I will tell you whether or not you are selected.”

“Sounds great,” I tell him. “Vielen dank!”

“Ja, bitte! Bis bald!”

“Bis bald,” Roxana and I yell back. And then Wolfgang pedals away.

“Wow, I really hope we get this apartment, now,” says Roxana.

TexMexpatriats: Scoring an Apartment in Munich #5

Ryan’s Wednesday Afternoon pt. 3 – Viewing the Apartment and Debrief

Following him through the front door of the place, I’m struck by its apparent age. The walls are solid cement, and the tile floors display patterns much too detailed to be new. Also, the stained wooden stairs cry when I climb them. He leads me through the tiny dark lobby of “the first building” and past a two-person glass elevator into  the building’s courtyard. I think I see a ghost in one of the corners.

Bicycles line the edges of the courtyard, propped up on the building’s outer walls. I imagine there’s at least one bike per resident. The only area in which I see no bikes is to the right of us, beneath the tin/wooden canopy that shields the garbage from rain. As I follow the stone path from the back of “the first building” to the front door of “the back building,” I’m impressed  by the courtyard’s coziness. Mostly, it’s because the courtyard is about the size of two tennis courts and the 5-story apartment buildings wrap around its edges. They’re relatives crowded around a newborn’s crib.

Anyway, now Wolfgang and I are in “the back building.” I’ll be seeing a room in this one.

“There’s a…um…keller? I don’t know the word in English.”

Shot in the dark from me: “A cellar?”

“Yes! That’s it. There’s a cellar somewhere, here. But I don’t know where it is, so we’ll have to ask Saskja.” And then, “Oh! Saskja is the girl who lives here, now. She is waiting for us upstairs.”

“Great!” We climb, and the stairs cry.

On the second floor (we would call this the third floor in the States) I see three doors. Two appear to lead into apartments while the third leads onto a balcony. Wolfgang notices I’m looking at the balcony.

“Ah, yes. That’s the balkon. There’s no way to access it from inside the apartment, but it belongs to whomever rents the room you are about to see. The other girl on this floor knows that it doesn’t belong to her room.”

“Oh, okay.” I’m a little disappointed that I would have to put on real-person pants to walk into the hall and out to the balcony. Call me old-fashioned.

Wolfgang knocks on the door, and after a few seconds Saskja answers. She’s a tall woman, maybe 30 years old. Maybe. She’s dressed as if she’s just come home from work, and her blond hair is pulled back into a bun. Despite her aggressively professional appearance, she smiles warmly at us and invites us in with a 6-inch voice she clearly picked up in elementary school.

Enough small talk with Saskja and Wolfgang. I’m here to assess an apartment. Since Roxana isn’t here, I need to compile a mental photo book worthy of the Smithsonian. I analyze the unit like this:

  • Floors: All wood, except for the bathroom’s
  • Bathroom floor: Tile
  • Walls: Originally white, but now off-white with age
  • Long hallway with a missing ceiling lamp

First impression: Unimpressed, because I imagine most of the room’s amenities are in disrepair. Noise probably travels through walls without any problem at all.

More analysis:

  • Order of rooms along the hallway:
    • Tiny closet full of Saskja’s shoes (I imagine Roxana fainting when I tell her about this)
    • Bathroom
    • Kitchen
    • Living Room
  • The bedroom is through a door at the back of the living room, not connected to the hallway
  • The bathroom is huge. I think it’s too big, but I make a mental note similar to the one I made after seeing the shoe closet.
    • The toilet has its own corner carved out of one of the walls
    • The shower is also a bathtub
    • The sink is on a wall opposite the bathtub, next to the toilet nook
    • I have about 5 feet between the sink and the tub.
    • Saskja has a washing machine in the corner next to the tub, directly opposite the toilet
  • The kitchen is big, too–about the size of my living room in Dallas. A stove, counter top and sink fit comfortably against one wall, and there’s plenty of room for a table on the opposite wall. Nice.
  • The living room easily fits the standard couch, coffee table, tv stand setup on one end, and it would easily fit a desk and my guitar on the other end.
  • The bedroom is just barely wide enough for a queen bed, and there’s no closet.
  • The walls are solid cement

Refined First Impression: Pretty luxurious when it comes to room sizes, and the cement walls negate my first impression about noise. But why do they sacrifice bedroom space for the sake of bathroom space? I think about putting a desk in the bathroom and about what a keyboard sounds like surrounded by tile.

I’m not listening to Saskja and Wolfgang, but I’m aware of their voices while I’m scanning the place. I do, however, pick up one of Wolfgang’s phrases clearly:

“…ein Amerikaner und eine Mexikanerin!”

“Oh, wow!” says Saskja.

“Ja!”

I smile and get back to scanning.

After a few more minutes, Wolfgang is behind me.

“Do you have any questions about the place?”

“No, I think I understand it pretty well,” I smile back.

“Really? No questions?” he and Saskja are both very surprised. I wonder what it’s like when Germans view apartments.

“No, it looks good. I’ll talk about this with Roxana tonight. Can I call or email you to let you know what we think?”

A bit apprehensive, Wolfgang replies “Um, yes. But please try to tell me what you think by tomorrow afternoon. As you can imagine, finding and apartment in Munich is very difficult. We have, uh, many interested people.”

“Sure thing!” I grin obliviously.

***

I’m looking across the dinner table at a curious Roxana and an absolutely baffled Sergio.

“What do you mean, you’re not sure it’s worth it? Tell the guy you’re interested,” he says in an absolutely baffled manner. “It’s in a good location?”

“Yeah.”

“And it has a separate rooms?”

“Yeah.”

“Tell him you’re interested.”

“Yeah, you should call him,” urges Roxana, “and at least say we’re interested. At the least, we can see it again and if we don’t want it, then it’s no big deal.”

“Okay, deal,” I say, reaching for my cell phone.