People miss things when they leave their country to live in another one. It’s a fact. I’m sure if you asked Science, it would agree with me, so you might as well not even waste your time.
As I was saying: whether or not you experience proper culture shock (or more esoterically: the out-of-towner heeby jeebies), you will undoubtedly regret that parts of your old life aren’t parts of your new one. And what’s really cool is that, if you’re not living abroad right now, then you probably have no idea what those parts are. Total surprises, all of them. For me, at least. As an American (read: Texan) living in Munich, Germany, I can tell you what might make an American (read: Texan) sad about living in Munich, Germany.
I’m not going to say “friends and family.” That’s because everyone misses friends and family. And “everyone” includes me. In fact, if any person has friends and family back home to miss, then they miss them without an atom of a doubt. That feeling is so universal that, when I ask a person what they miss about the old life and they start to say “Fr-,” I instantly pass out from boredom.
Let’s talk about the interesting stuff, then. You know what I mean–the stuff we can live without but, dammit, just don’t want to. What I miss more than anything are the cost and availability of digital entertainment. There, I said it.
I realized this for the first time back in April, when I tried to log into my Netflix account. “Welcome back, pal! Ready to watch TV shows and movies anytime, anywhere, for one low monthly price?” Netflix is always so happy to see people.
“Am I ever!” I exclaimed, bubbling with enthusiasm.
Netflix’s forehead turns bright read as it anxiously tells me to piss off.
And then, “Wait a minute. Oh shit man, since when are you in Germany? Dammit, I shouldn’t even be talking to you right now. Get out of here before you get us both in trouble.” Netflix’s forehead was bright red, presumably from rage against my audacity, so I discretely closed my browser window and tried to forget the whole thing ever happened.
I realized it again immediately afterward, when I tried to log into my Hulu account. “Whoah, buddy,” said Hulu, “Where you think you are? America?”
“No, sir,” I sighed as I closed down my Web browser and crawled under my bed for a nap.
Then I tried to listen to some music on YouTube. I believe I was trying to show Roxana how badass Volbeat still is. “Sorry!” answered YouTube, “We can’t show you that, now! Because Germany.” I decided to hang up the towel for awhile. After all, Munich has beer and parks. Sweet mother of God, does it have beer and parks.
Last month, I regained my itch for music exploration, though. Spotify wouldn’t let me down. I was sure of that. It started here in Europe, after all.
Spotify totally let me down. After 10 hours of listening, it sent its little text-window bouncer to greet me. “Time’s up pal. Pack it up and come back next month.”
Good grief. Well, I guess I’ll have to do this the old fashioned way. Get over here, iTunes.
“Hey buddy, what’s up?” asked iTunes.
“Well, Germany won’t let me watch movies or listen to music. I’m kind of hoping you’ll help me out. What do you have available?”
“Oh my, everything! I’m the U.S. version, after all!” replied iTunes, elated as ever.
In walked Roxana. “Hola, amor! What are you doing?”
“Looking at movies on iTunes. Hopefully something in Horror. Need that adrenaline, now. Want to watch something?” I asked.
“Sure! Let me pay for this one, since I can use my German debit card.”
“Oh,” interjected iTunes. “She’s gonna pay?” Then iTunes sighed, “You’ll have to get in touch with my German friend. I’m not allowed to sell to other countries. Gotta have that American debit card!”
Aw, you too, iTunes!? I switched my iTunes location to Germany.
“Guten abend!” exclaimed iTunes’s German friend. “Was kann ich fuer Sie tun?”
“Well,” I said, “we’d like to rent ‘Mama’ please.”
“Ah so! Es tut mir leid, aber ich habe kein Film dass ‘Mama’ heisst. Bitte fragen Sie meinen amerikanischen Fruend.”
Dammit. Okay, well we can probably solve this problem using my debit card and the U.S. iTunes store. Let’s give that a shot.
That one actually worked. We watched “Mama” that night. For $4.99 USD, more than half of what it costs to stream Netflix for a month. On the bright side, we could have watched the movie all we wanted before the 24-hour rental time limit expired.
But “Mama” wasn’t even a good movie. So we only watched it once.
Oh, and they also don’t have “Game of Thrones” over here. Wound sufficiently salted.
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Update July 2014: They totally have “Game of Thrones” here, now.
Netflix misses you too buddy